No Confusion Here: Proverbs 31 Is a Portrait, Not a Performance

In this series, we’ve already talked about what it means to be a woman—how God created us with intention, not as an afterthought, and how real strength is often found in gentleness rather than aggression.

But once we understand who we are, how do we actually live that out?

For many, the answer seems to be in Proverbs 31.

For some women, this passage is inspirational. For others, it’s intimidating. And for a lot of us? It’s just plain exhausting.

Let’s be honest—if you’ve ever read Proverbs 31 and thought, “Oh great, another impossible checklist I’ll never live up to,” you’re not alone. Somehow, this passage got turned into a biblical womanhood job description nobody actually applied for.

Apparently, she’s up before dawn, making homemade sourdough from wheat she harvested herself, running an Etsy shop, homeschooling six perfectly behaved children, and effortlessly gliding through life with a smile and zero under-eye bags.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to remember if we moved the laundry to the dryer or if it’s about to start smelling funky.

But here’s the thing: Proverbs 31 isn’t a to-do list for getting everything right—it’s a snapshot of wisdom, faith, and walking in purpose, regardless the season.

And the woman in this passage? Well…she’s not quite who we tend to think she is.

The Proverbs 31 Woman Isn’t a 1950s Housewife

Somewhere along the way, people decided the Proverbs 31 woman was just a sweet, quiet housewife who greets her husband at the door with a fresh batch of his favorite homemade cookies every night, donned in high heels and a perfectly pressed dress. (Not that there’s ANYTHING wrong with any of that!)

But that image barely scratches the surface.

She may be gracious, gentle, and a fantastic baker, but she’s also wise, capable, and incredibly hardworking.

📍 She runs businesses (verse 16).
📍 She manages real estate (verse 16).
📍 She’s physically strong (verse 17).
📍 She makes strategic investments (verse 18).
📍 She’s charitable (verse 20).
📍 She speaks wisdom and teaches others (verse 26).

This is not a delicate woman sitting home in her rocking chair, waiting for permission to exist.

She’s decisive. She’s resourceful. She’s a leader.

And somehow, she manages to do all this without sacrificing her faith, family, or her femininity.

Sounds a lot different than that stereotype, doesn’t it?

She’s Strong, But She’s Not Trying to Be a Man

One of the biggest cultural lies we hear today is that strength and femininity don’t mix.

We’re told that if we want to be strong, successful, or ambitious, we need to be harder, louder, and more aggressive.

But Proverbs 31 paints a very different picture.

This woman is strong—but not in a way that imitates men.

✔ She’s wise, but not reckless.
✔ She’s diligent, not domineering.
✔ She’s confident, not competitive.

And she’s not apologizing for being a woman, either.

She embraces her role, whatever season she’s in, and thrives in it.

She’s not constantly fighting to “prove” herself—because she already knows who she is.

That, my friend, is the kind of strength we need more of today, isn’t it?

She Works Hard—But She’s Not a Machine

A lot of women read Proverbs 31 and immediately think, "Well, that’s nice, but I like sleep. And not being overwhelmed. And wearing sweatpants."

Good news: We don’t have to wake up at 4 AM and weave our own linen to be godly women.

This passage isn’t saying we need to do all the things, all the time.

It’s showing us a lifetime of faithfulness.

The Proverbs 31 chick isn’t burning herself out trying to impress people.

She’s not hustling for her worth.

She’s working hard with purpose—because she knows her value comes from God alone, not from being "productive enough."

We don’t have to do more. We have to live wisely.

Her Husband and Kids Call Her “Blessed”—But That’s Not the Goal

Proverbs 31 ends with this:

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." (Proverbs 31:28)

And a lot of us read that and think, “So I have to be perfect so my family will finally appreciate me?”

No.

She’s not living for praise.

She’s not doing all this so people will admire her.

She’s living for God, and because of that, she’s an incredible blessing to her family and everyone around her.

She’s not waiting for approval. She’s just walking in wisdom and strength. And respect follows.

The Real Message of Proverbs 31

Proverbs 31 isn’t a biography of one woman—it’s a poem.

This passage was written as an acrostic poem in Hebrew, celebrating the strength, wisdom, and faithfulness of godly women. It’s not about us doing all things, all at once—it’s about a life well lived.

It reminds us that strength and femininity work together. That working hard and honoring our homes go hand in hand. That wisdom is worth more than charm, and faithfulness leaves a legacy that outlasts fleeting beauty.

And at the heart of it all?

"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." (Proverbs 31:30)

We’ve talked about how God designed women with intention and how real strength often looks different than what the world expects.

Proverbs 31 gives us a glimpse of what that looks like in action—a woman walking in wisdom, working with purpose, and trusting the One who created her.

That’s a woman who leaves a lasting impact.

Not because she’s checking every box.
Not because she’s mastered the fine art of linen-weaving.
Not because she never forgets to thaw the chicken or fold the laundry.

She leaves a lasting impact because she’s walking in obedience to God.

And that is what actually matters.

No confusion here.